If you’ve ever paused while writing “themself” or “themselves,” you’re not alone—I’ve seen this confusion come up often because both forms can look correct depending on the sentence.
In this guide, I’ll make the difference simple, practical, and easy to remember, so you can choose the right word with confidence. Which one should you use? In most standard English, “themselves” is the safer and more widely accepted choice.
Quick Answer
Both themself and themselves can be correct, but they are not used in exactly the same way. Themselves is the established and more widely accepted reflexive form of they, especially when they refers to multiple people. It is also widely used with singular they.
Themself is a singular reflexive form used with singular they, particularly when referring to one specific person, including a person who uses they/them pronouns. Some dictionaries recognize it, although usage and style preferences differ.
Quick Comparison: Themself vs. Themselves
| Form | Main Use | Example |
| themself | Singular they referring to one person | Each student can decide for themself. |
| themselves | Plural they or widely accepted singular they | The students prepared themselves. |
| themselves | Emphasis with they | They themselves made the decision. |
| themself | Singular reflexive emphasis | The person themself explained the situation. |
The key issue is number and context. If they refers to several people, themselves is the natural choice. If they refers to one person, themself can make the singular meaning especially clear, while themselves is also widely accepted.
What Does “Themself” Mean?
Themself is a reflexive pronoun used when they/them refers to one person and that same person is affected by the action or is being emphasized.
For example:
Each employee should ask themself whether the decision is fair.
Here, each employee refers to one person at a time. Themself makes the singular reference explicit.
It can also be used when referring to a particular person who uses they/them pronouns:
Jordan wanted to explain the situation themself.
In this sentence, Jordan is one person, and themself refers back to Jordan.
Merriam-Webster recognizes themself as a pronoun and notes its use particularly with singular, gender-neutral they, including references to a nonbinary person.
Is “Themself” a Real Word?
Yes. Themself is a recognized English word, although it does not have the same level of universal acceptance as themselves.
This is where dictionaries differ in how they label it. Merriam-Webster includes it as a dictionary entry, while Cambridge labels it “not standard” but still documents its use with singular they. Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries also lists it and notes that it is fairly common, particularly in spoken English, although some speakers consider it incorrect.
So it is too simple to say that themself is always wrong.
What Does “Themselves” Mean?
Themselves is the established reflexive form associated with they.
It is normally used when they refers to more than one person:
The children dressed themselves.
The employees introduced themselves.
The travelers prepared themselves for the long journey.
It can also be used with singular they, particularly when the person is unknown, unspecified, or when the writer follows the increasingly established convention of using themselves as the singular reflexive form.
For example:
If anyone needs help, they can contact the office themselves.
Merriam-Webster documents themselves with indefinite singular antecedents such as nobody and anyone, while Oxford also recognizes themselves as a form used for a person whose sex is not mentioned or known.
Themselves With Plural They
This is the most straightforward use:
They blamed themselves for the mistake.
Here, they refers to multiple people, so themselves is the normal choice.
Themselves With Singular They
English also uses singular they:
Someone left their phone, but they came back for it themselves.
In this sentence, someone is singular, but they is used because the person’s gender is unknown or unspecified.
This use is well established in modern English reference works.
Themself vs. Themselves: Key Difference
The easiest way to understand the difference is to ask:
Does “they” refer to one person or multiple people?
If they refers to multiple people, use themselves:
The two managers introduced themselves.
If they refers to one person, themself may be used:
The manager who uses they/them pronouns introduced themself.
However, singular themselves is also accepted and widely used:
The manager introduced themselves.
That means the distinction is not simply “themself = correct” and “themselves = wrong,” or vice versa.
Instead, themself specifically highlights the singular nature of the antecedent, while themselves is the more established form and can serve both plural and singular-they contexts.
When Should You Use “Themself”?
When Singular “They” Refers to One Person
Use themself when you want a singular reflexive form that clearly points to one person.
The person should be allowed to express themself freely.
Anyone who wants to challenge themself can join the competition.
The applicant can introduce themself at the beginning of the interview.
This construction is especially useful when the antecedent is clearly singular.
When Referring to a Person Who Uses They/Them Pronouns
If a particular individual uses they/them pronouns, themself can be used as their singular reflexive form.
Alex said they would introduce themself at the meeting.
Taylor wanted to challenge themself to learn a new skill.
The choice can also depend on the person’s own preference and the style conventions of the publication or organization.
When You Want to Make the Singular Meaning Clear
Compare:
The person should decide for themselves.
The person should decide for themself.
Both can be understood as referring to one person. The second makes the singular reflexive relationship more visually obvious.
When Should You Use “Themselves”?
When “They” Refers to Multiple People
This is the clearest situation.
The students organized themselves into groups.
The customers helped themselves to refreshments.
The workers completed the project themselves.
When Using Singular “They” in General Writing
Themselves is widely accepted with singular they, especially after indefinite words such as someone, anyone, everyone, nobody, and each person.
Everyone should be proud of themselves.
Someone should remind themselves to check the details.
Each person should ask themselves what they really want.
Merriam-Webster specifically notes the long-established use of themselves with indefinite singular antecedents.
When You Want the Most Conventional Choice
If you are writing for a formal audience and you are unsure whether themself will be accepted by your readers, themselves is generally the safer conventional choice.
That does not mean themself is universally wrong. It means themselves has broader acceptance across standard written English.
Common Sentence Variations
Themself or Themselves After “Someone”?
Both can occur, but themselves is the more established general choice.
Someone should be able to make decisions for themselves.
Themself can emphasize that the person is singular:
Someone should be able to make decisions for themself.
The choice may depend on the writer’s preferred style and the intended level of formality.
Themself or Themselves After “Everyone”?
Themselves is the usual choice:
Everyone should take care of themselves.
Themself can also be used when the writer deliberately treats everyone as an individual singular person:
Everyone should learn to trust themself.
The second sentence is understandable, but themselves is generally more familiar to readers.
Themself or Themselves After “Each Person”?
Both are possible:
Each person should ask themselves what they want.
Each person should ask themself what they want.
Because each person is grammatically singular, themself makes the singular relationship especially transparent. However, singular themselves is also widely accepted in modern English.
Themself or Themselves After a Person’s Name?
If the person uses they/them pronouns, themself can be appropriate:
Sam wanted to prove themself.
Themselves is also possible under the widely used singular-they convention:
Sam wanted to prove themselves.
If the person has a stated preference for one form, follow that preference.
Common Phrases With “Themself” and “Themselves”
Be themselves
Be themselves means to behave naturally rather than pretending to be someone else.
The children felt comfortable enough to be themselves.
Be themself
Be themself can refer to one person using singular they.
The new employee finally felt free to be themself.
By themselves
By themselves commonly means alone or without assistance.
The children completed the project by themselves.
Cambridge identifies by themselves as an expression meaning alone or without help.
By themself
By themself can be used when they clearly refers to one person.
The student completed the entire project by themself.
This form is less familiar to many readers than by themselves, so the context matters.
Speak for themselves
Speak for themselves means to express their own opinions or to provide evidence without someone else explaining it.
The results speak for themselves.
Speak for themself
For one person using singular they, speak for themself may be used.
The applicant can speak for themself.
Common Mistakes
Mistake 1: Using “Themself” for a Plural Group
❌ The students introduced themself.
✅ The students introduced themselves.
When students refers to several people, use themselves.
Mistake 2: Assuming “Themself” Is Always Wrong
❌ Themself is never a correct English word.
✅ Themself is used as a singular reflexive form with singular they, although its acceptance varies by dictionary and style guide.
The word is recognized in major dictionaries, but not every reference treats it as fully standard.
Mistake 3: Using “Themselves” Without Checking the Antecedent
❌ The two children should take care of themself.
✅ The two children should take care of themselves.
A plural antecedent requires the plural reflexive form.
Mistake 4: Automatically Changing Every Singular “They” to “Themself”
❌ Everyone must use themself.
✅ Everyone must use themselves.
Singular they does not automatically require themself. Themselves is widely accepted with singular they.
Mistake 5: Ignoring a Person’s Pronouns
❌ Jordan uses they/them pronouns, so Jordan must use himself.
✅ Jordan uses they/them pronouns, so Jordan can use themself or the established singular-they form themselves, depending on context and preference.
The reflexive pronoun should match the pronoun system being used for the person.
Mistake 6: Treating “Themself” and “Themselves” as Simple Spelling Variants
❌ Themself is just an alternative spelling of themselves.
✅ The forms can differ in grammatical number and usage.
Themself is specifically associated with singular they, whereas themselves is the established plural reflexive form and is also widely used with singular they.
Why Do People Get “Themself” and “Themselves” Wrong?
The confusion comes largely from the unusual behavior of singular they.
English traditionally pairs plural they with themselves:
They prepared themselves.
But modern English also uses they for one person:
Someone forgot their bag.
That creates a natural question: should the reflexive form be themselves or themself?
English speakers have used themselves with singular indefinite references for a long time, while themself has also existed and has gained renewed attention alongside modern singular they. Merriam-Webster records the historical use of themself and notes its more recent increase alongside singular they.
This is why both forms can appear in real English.
Can Both Forms Be Correct?
Yes.
This is the most important point for anyone searching themself or themselves.
“Themselves” Is Correct for Plural They
The players congratulated themselves.
Here, they means multiple players.
“Themselves” Can Also Be Correct for Singular They
Someone should give themselves enough time to decide.
Here, someone is singular, but they/them is being used without specifying gender.
This construction is widely accepted in contemporary English.
“Themself” Can Be Correct for Singular They
The person should decide for themself.
Here, themself clearly signals that the reflexive reference is to one person.
Merriam-Webster recognizes this use, while Cambridge records the same usage but labels the word “not standard.” Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries lists themself and notes that it is fairly common, although some speakers consider it incorrect.
Therefore, the safest conclusion is:
Themselves is the more broadly established form, while themself is a recognized singular form whose acceptance varies by reference work, style, and audience.
British vs. American English
There is not a simple British-versus-American spelling rule that makes one form British and the other American.
The difference is primarily about usage and grammatical interpretation, particularly the treatment of singular they.
Both British and American English use themselves, including with singular indefinite references. Themself also appears in both varieties, although dictionaries and style authorities differ in how strongly they accept or recommend it. Cambridge labels the word “not standard,” while Oxford and Merriam-Webster document its use.
So it would be misleading to say:
“Themself is British, while themselves is American.”
That is not an accurate rule.
Pronunciation
The two forms are pronounced differently at the end.
Themself: /ðəmˈself/
Themselves: /ðəmˈselvz/
The final -f sound in themself contrasts with the -vz sound in themselves. Cambridge gives these pronunciations in its dictionary entries.
Word Origin and History
Both forms developed from the combination of the pronoun them and self.
Themselves has a long history in English, with Merriam-Webster recording its first known use in the 13th century. Themself is also historically old; Merriam-Webster records its first known use in the 15th century.
The renewed attention to themself is closely connected with the growing use of singular they, because speakers naturally look for a singular reflexive form to match they and them.
Simple Memory Trick
Remember this:
Several people → themselves.
One person using singular they → themself can work.
But add one important note:
Singular they can also take themselves.
So if you are unsure in general writing, themselves is usually the more familiar and broadly accepted choice.
Quick Decision Guide
Does “they” refer to several people?
→ Use themselves.
The students taught themselves.
Does “they” refer to one person?
→ Themself can be used.
The student taught themself.
Is the singular person using they/them pronouns?
→ Themself may be appropriate.
Alex introduced themself.
Are you using singular “they” for an unknown or unspecified person?
→ Themselves is widely accepted.
Someone should introduce themselves.
Are you writing for a formal audience and unsure which form will be accepted?
→ Themselves is generally the safer conventional choice.
Mini Quiz
1. The children prepared ___ for the performance.
A. themself
B. themselves
Answer: B — themselves.
The subject is plural, so the normal reflexive form is themselves.
2. Each participant can decide for ___.
A. themself
B. themselves
Answer: A — themself.
Themself can clearly signal that each participant is considered individually, although themselves is also widely accepted with singular they.
3. Jordan said they would introduce ___.
A. themself
B. himself
Answer: A — themself.
If Jordan uses they/them pronouns, themself is a possible singular reflexive form.
4. The two managers blamed ___ for the mistake.
A. themself
B. themselves
Answer: B — themselves.
The phrase refers to two people, so the plural reflexive form is required.
5. Someone should be proud of ___.
A. themselves
B. themself
Answer: A — themselves.
Themselves is widely established with singular indefinite antecedents such as someone.
6. The person wanted to prove ___.
A. themself
B. themselves
Answer: A — themself.
When the person is singular and uses singular they, themself is a natural way to make the singular reference explicit.
7. They completed the project by ___.
A. themself
B. themselves
Answer: B — themselves.
If they refers to a group, themselves is the standard form.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “themself” grammatically correct?
Yes, themself has a recognized use as a singular reflexive pronoun with singular they. However, its acceptance varies: Merriam-Webster recognizes it, while Cambridge labels it “not standard,” and Oxford notes that some speakers consider it incorrect.
Is “themselves” grammatically correct?
Yes. Themselves is the established reflexive form of they and is the normal choice when they refers to multiple people. It is also widely accepted with singular they.
Should I use “themself” or “themselves” with one person?
Both can be possible. Themself makes the singular reference explicit, while themselves is the more established form and is widely accepted with singular they.
Is “everyone should be themselves” correct?
Yes. Everyone should be themselves is widely used and accepted in contemporary English. Here, themselves is functioning with singular they, referring to each individual without specifying gender.
Is “everyone should be themself” correct?
It can be used, especially when the writer wants a singular reflexive form that matches singular they. However, themselves is more broadly familiar and accepted, so it is generally the safer choice for a wide audience.
Is “be themself” correct?
Yes, when they refers to one person. For example: “The student should feel free to be themself.” The form is particularly useful when the person uses they/them pronouns.
Is “by themself” correct?
It can be correct when they refers to one person. For example: “They completed the assignment by themself.” However, by themselves is much more established and familiar, particularly when they refers to multiple people.
Which is more common: “themself” or “themselves”?
Themselves is considerably more established and broadly used. Themself has a specific and increasingly visible role with singular they, but dictionaries and style authorities do not agree completely about its standard status.
Is “themself” a spelling mistake?
Not necessarily. If it is being used as a singular reflexive form with they, it can be intentional and meaningful. It should not automatically be treated as a typo for themselves.
Should I use “themself” in formal writing?
That depends on the publication, institution, or style guide. Because themselves has broader acceptance, it is often the safer choice when you do not know the preferred style. If a particular person uses they/them pronouns and prefers themself, however, respecting that person’s stated usage can be appropriate.
Can “themself” refer to more than one person?
Generally, no. Themself is used to highlight a singular reference. For a plural group, use themselves.
Final Takeaway
The choice between themself and themselves depends mainly on what they refers to.
Use themselves for plural people, and remember that themselves is also widely accepted with singular they. Use themself when they clearly refers to one person and you want a singular reflexive form, particularly for someone who uses they/them pronouns.
Simple rule:
Plural they → themselves. Singular they → themself can be used, but themselves is also widely accepted.
If you need the most broadly conventional choice in general writing, themselves is usually the safer option.
Hi, I’m Sophia Mitchell, and I’ve always been fascinated by the stories behind names. My passion for animals inspired me to help pet owners find names that feel personal, memorable, and full of meaning. As a writer for Meanixo, I create pet naming resources that combine creativity, research, and practical ideas for every type of pet.
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